Friday, May 8, 2009

Don't mind her, she's talking to herself again.

'Reflection' by Sulamith Wülfing

Throughout the Twilight series, both Edward and Bella find themselves questioning their good fortune and belief that someone could actually love them.  Maybe they held a conversation like this with themselves? Maybe we've all held conversations like this with ourselves?  Maybe I need to quit drinking and writing....


Enjoy.


A Conversation

by Tess


The Heart:  “Come. Let me love you”


It's Desire:  “But why do you love me?”


The Heart:  (Laughs) “How can I not!”


It's Desire:  (sigh) “Help me understand...”


The Heart:  “Who can explain the heart?”


It's Desire:  “Try”


The Heart:  (shrugs) “Without the heart, you cannot feel love.

If not for love, you'd never feel your heart”


It's Desire: “Ah! So you need me!”


The Heart:  “We're intertwined; We cannot 

exist without the other”


It's Desire:  “You're not afraid?”


The Heart:  “Love makes me fearless”


It's Desire:  “So I make you strong?”


The Heart:  (laughs) “No... You make me weak”


It's Desire:  “Then why risk it?”


The Heart:  “Because.. it makes me feel alive; and love.. is

the simplest celebration of life.”


It's Desire: “I'm afraid.”


The Heart:  “Shhhh...Come. Just let me love you.”



Love,

Tess


Wednesday, May 6, 2009

"Flexible" is my middle name!

Maybe you can identify with this, but over the years I've come up with a list of things that I can and cannot tolerate in a potential partner.  I was mulling this over the other day, and decided to apply this list to Rob (yeah, I know. It boggles the mind).  Is there anything I COULD not! WOULD not! tolerate from Robert Pattinson?


Aside from the standard moral and ethical No-Nos, the list was surprisingly short.  I thought it would actually be more interesting to list the things that I would accept from Rob, but that I'm unwilling to accept from other men.


Here it is:


1)  Speedos- Any color. Seriously, I'm cool with it

2)  Teva footwear- With/without socks

3)  Birkenstocks- Again, with/without socks, wearing plaid Bermuda's, and a fishing hat.

4)  Tighty whities- I might laugh... but trust me, I'm watching him walk away.

5)  Eating like a caveman- I really wanted to be that piece of cake in How To Be.

6)  Wearing his pants too tight- In fact, I might insist.

7)  Colorful sweaters- On other men: No. On Rob: Yeeees!

8)  Grabbing my ass- I usually hate this, but right now, it's the dream keeping me alive!

9)  Leaving the toilet seat up- I'd get something *wink* every time he forgot.

10) White Pants- On Rob: Don't move. Be very still. I'm coming to get you. On other men: Gay sailor.

11) Ordering something to share- I want my own food! (I know, I have issues), But I'd share with Rob.

12) Chest hair- Usually not into it, but every time I see Rob's, my fingers flex and strain.

13) A Full Beard- On Rob: Rugged and virile. On other men: The unabomber or a gay construction worker.

14) Muscle shirts- Yep. Even if it had a picture of two pigs doing it and read, Makin' Bacon


I don't like to think I'd sell my soul... I prefer to think of it as being flexible.


That's it for now.


Love,

Tess


Thursday, April 23, 2009

A Reminder From Thumper's Mom

"If you can't say something nice... don't say nothing at all"


The endless speculation and dissection of Robert Pattinson's personal life has been on the tips of everyone's tongue, and fingers, for the past several weeks. Unfortunately, for all involved, it will probably continue to be so.  Many people near and dear to my heart have already addressed the situation, but I'm of the belief that voices joined together can have a powerful affect on a situation, so I'm adding mine.

To Whom it May Concern:

1.  There is a fine line between being a fan and a fanatic.  Don't cross it.
2.  You are entitled to your opinion, but learn when to STFU!
3.  Unless you are inside his mind, or #1 on his speed dial, you have no idea what Rob is thinking, feeling, or doing.  These are the facts.  Deal with them.
4.  Petty is never pretty
5.  Who Rob dates is nor more of your business, than who you date is his. 
6.  Rob does not need your approval of anyone he chooses to date. Whether you think she is: pretty enough, young enough, old enough, thin enough, smart enough, or GOOD enough... is irrelevant.
7.  Rob drinks.  So what?
7.  Rob smokes. So what?
8.  Rob has friends of the opposite sex. So what?
9.  Rob has friends of the same sex.  So what?
10. You do not have the right to pass judgement on anything he does. Seriously, think about this.
11. Just because Rob is a public figure does not give you the right to interrupt his private life. 
12. Get over your preconceived notions.
13. Rob is an entertainer. You might enjoy hearing or seeing him perform, but ultimately, he's not responsible for your happiness.  If you're entertaining ideas of another nature, I suggest you seek professional help.
14. Definition of the word Obsess:
 
obsess |əbˈses|verb [ trans. (usu. be obsessed
preoccupy or fill the mind of (someone) continually, intrusively, and to a troubling extent

~If any part of this definition sounds familiar, again, I suggest you seek professional help.
15. You cannot definitively tell what's going on in a photo by looking at it.  True story.  If you can, call me... there's money to be made.

The sooner you realize each of these things, they happier you'll be.  That's all for now.

Love,
Tess



Sunday, April 19, 2009

Cool! It's Multiple Choice.

Help Me!!  She's mad! and I don't mean in a good way!

With the filming of New Moon in full swing, I guess it's no surprise that I've been revisiting passages in the book. In doing so, I was again Imagining the way Bella was feeling, ultimately reliving my own moments.  Well, as my Grandmother used to say: "Better out than in"


This poem is:

a) Inspired by true events
b) Written from the perspective of a fictional character
c) Proof that I'm not a poet (and know it)
d) A good indication that I need help
e) All of the above



 Breathe 
by Tess

I turned my face up to the sun, felt it's warmth, and thought of you.
It's like breathing
I conjured your face and lovingly retraced it's shape.
It's like breathing
I'm missing you. But you're not here. I know this.
It's like breathing
 Though I'm alone, I still feel you.
It's like breathing
It's dark. I turn my face up to the moon and whisper my thoughts to the night ~ willing the wind to carry them to your ears.
It's like breathing
Tomorrow, I will awake, seek the sun, and think of you.
It's like breathing




Love,
Tess

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Fanny is that you? or Twilight is a work of Art-Ex. B

Is Catherine Hardwicke a closet art aficionado or am I just looking for reasons to justify my intense desire to watch Twilight over and over again?  Not only does the movie get better with each viewing (subliminal messages anyone) but I tend to notice something new each time as well.  

Take this promotional image of Rachelle Lefevre as " Victoria " for Example:

Note the abundance of flaming red hair, her gaze, the ornament leaves in her hair, and the shearling artfully draped across her shoulder.

Now please compare this image with Dante Gabriel Rossetti's " The Blue Bower " (1865) which features his mistress Fanny Cornforth (Yes, she was English. No, I have no idea what her parents were thinking with that name).

Again, note the abundance of flaming red hair, her gaze, the ornament in her hair, and the shearling artfully draped across around her shoulders.

Coincidence?  I think not!

Not only is Catherine Hardwicke one funky chic with terrific fashion sense, but she was fecking inspired!  

So the next time someone gives your grief over watching Twilight you just look them straight in the eye and Say it! Out Loud!...

 " Twilight is a Thing of Beauty

See? Don't you feel better already?

Love,
Tess

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Twilight is a work of Art ~ Literally (Ex. A)



From the moment I first saw this promotional image for Twilight, something has been niggling at the back of my mind.  Where had I seen this before?  Had I seen it before... or is it just reminiscent of the many clichéd romance novels I've read? 

I had forgotten all about it, until I recently came across a book while unpacking a box. The book was about a little known German artist named Sulamith Wülfing.  As young girl I was fascinated by her drawings and spent countless hours getting lost in her artwork.

Below is an illustration by Sulamith Wülfing entitled Togetherness. Enjoy.


Love,
Tess

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

The Gravy List

I know it's been a long time since I've written a post, but I've been really busy.

Rob came back to the States.
Rob left
Rob came back and went to the optometrist and the gym
Rob presented at the Oscars
Rob was chatting up Paris, Natalie, Camilla, and Megan
Rob went to Tokyo
Rob came back to the States
Rob left for Vancouver
Rob could still be chatting up Megan, Natalie, and Camilla, but probably not Paris
Rob went to Walmart
Rob was in GQ
Rob was having problems getting laid in NYC...
Rob went back to Vancouver
Then the Twilight DVD was released...

It's been a hectic!

I've also been doing a lot of obsessive thinking. Yes, yes.. we can all agree that Rob is easy on the eyes, but there are other perks as well.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you:

The Gravy List

1. Rob doesn't see himself as perfect, so this means you don't have to be either.
2. Forget your jacket? Relax... Rob is always wearing a spare.
3. Rob = same articles of clothing over and over = less washing = lower utility bills
4. Have a bad case of arachnophobia? No worries, Rob doesn't.
5. Speaking of spiders, have you seen the size of his feet? A spider doesn't stand a chance (though I'm guessing he's a scoop-and-release sort of guy)
6. You will always look better running than Rob.
7. Rob refers to his hands as "flappers" I prefer to think of them as tools of illusion (as in my butt will always appear smaller in them)
8. Big hands are good for opening up tight lids on jars
9. Big hands are good for holding water to your parched lips on a warm day (errm.. sorry, favorite fantasy of mine)
10. Big hands are good for holding multiple things at once, i.e., my hand, parts of me, all of me
11. Big hands are good for fanning you when your hot
12. Rob likes to play dress up!
13. You could make some extra money recycling 300 empty cans of Diet Coke!
14. Rob = tall. i.e., "Hey boo.. can you move a little to the right? the sun's in my eyes"
15. Rob = tall = No more falling off the kitchen counter reaching for things on the top shelf
16. Rob probably won't complain about your driving.
17. Don't stress about being a klutz. He'll probably fall before you will.
18. Rob's furry.. no jacket? no worries...
19. Need to perfect your eyebrow tweezing technique? Grab an ice cube, throw him down, climb on, and go to town (with the tweezing that is)
20. Simplified meal planning: Day 1, Breakfast: cereal, Lunch: something microwavable, Dinner: something microwavable. Day 2, repeat
21. It's OK if you're crazy
22. If you're having problems sleeping, ask him to sing to you
23. If your having problems sleeping, ask him to tell you a story
24. Why the hell are you even thinking about sleeping??
25. And lastly, but most importantly, you will never-ever have to tell him, " shhhh... Don't say anything. Just sit there and look pretty."

To Be Continued...

Love,
Tess