Marking '100' With a Poetic Post

solitary angel, by sulamith wulfing

Seasons of Being

by: tess

static

still

awaiting

floating

seeking

existing

suspended

alone

Sleeping

sensing

stirring

communing

flowing

sharing

relating

igniting

forming

creating

becoming

Awakened

left

isolated

missing

mourning

wishing

remembering

reaching

wanting

hoping

Dreaming…

Please wake me

sleeping , by sulamith wulfing

With Love...Always,

Tess

Robert Pattinson Makes an Impression... Literally

Dear Rob,

Just as my admiration for you was cemented a long time ago, your stardom is now written in stone. Now all you need is me... and your life would be perfect *wink*

Getting dirty and looking good...

I love a man with a little dirt cement on his hands

Random Observation: I see a heart in your palm. Must be mine ;)

Congratulations. I am so very happy for you.

That's it for now.

Love,

Tess

Something Beautiful: How To Be Alone

Because I'm a fan of "hanging with your breath".

I hope you enjoy this as much as I do.... alone or with other's.

Love,

Tess

Written and performed by, Tanya Davis

I Flew Home With Robert Pattinson

Well, sort of...

While en route from to Chicago to Hong Kong, I noted that Water for Elephants was part of the inflight movie line-up. This was the up side. The down side was that I was flying economy on a crappy airlines⎼so choosing which movie I watched, and when, was not an option.

First up was Woody Allen's, Midnight in Paris⎼I didn't hate it. Next, was Thor. Now as much as I love a good Norse myth movie (??), and admired Natalie Portman in The Professional, she never turned out how I thought she would [and I watched that for Jean Reno anyway]. Seeing her simper onscreen for Chris Hemsworths' Thor really annoyed me so eventually, I nodded off.

The next thing I know, I hear Rob whispering "I'm confessin' that I love you" in my ears, and the following are actual thoughts that I had in the order they occurred:

'What?.. you tell me now? I'm half asleep'

'Finally. Thank you God! *high-five* I knew you'd come through!'

'Hmmm…what a lovely way wake up'

'Oh God, I hope my mouth isn't open'

At that moment my eyes fly open, I see his face before me and I couldn't help but smile. Because even on that tiny, plastic, drop down panel... he takes my breath away.

Yes Rob, Not even archaic modes of inflight entertainment can hide your hotness.

Thats it for now.

Love,

Tess

I'm confessin'(that I love you) Water for Elephants OST

A Supernova Someone - Steve Jobs

Like a supernova, he was brillant and brief.

RIP Sir.

With Gratitude,

Tess

Yogurt... Bringing Sexy Back

Singapore is an odd little island.

Pornography is illegal, yet prostitution is tolerated as long as it's done within registered brothels and not publicly solicited on the street. Most young women wear skirts barely skimming their a**es, BUT statistically, Singaporeans are consistently in the bottom 3 for sexual activity.

Not only are Singaporeans having sex less often, but the population is aging. The situation has become so dire, the government now offers married couples a monetary incentive (called the Baby Bonus) to have more children.

This is why I *giggle* when I see local product advertisements like the ones below.

Seems a shame that someone went to all that trouble laying thousands of tiny tiles and no one's getting get's it.

Craving yogurt,

Tess

Justin Timberlake - Sexy Back -

Still Driven...

I am such an amateur.

State of Rhode Island Department of Motor Vehicles: 1

Tess: 0

My last post ended with me flying to Rhode Island to get my Drivers license. In typical 'Tess' fashion I: gathered, researched, read, and verified anything I could think of to achieve my objective. I even gave up ogling Robert Pattinson so I could devote every spare moment memorizing all 73 pages of the drivers manual!

Highlights from Sec. B: General Notices to Motorist included:

☛ Never attempt to outrun a patrol vehicle or ignore the lights and siren.

☛ Do not duck down or make sudden movements, especially toward the floor, rear seats, or passenger seats. The officer may interpret these movements as an attempt to obtain a weapon or hide illegal goods.

☛ Avoid provoking the officer or showing off in front of your occupants. Do not interfere with the questioning or arresting of other occupants. Comply with the officer first then, if needed, seek an explanation.

And my personal favorite.

☛ The motorist should not pretend he/she does not see the officer, assuming it is another motorist that the officer is attempting to stop.

In order to beat the crowds, we arrived at the DMV at 7:45am⎼a full 45 minutes before it opened. As we joined the queue, I counted 117 people in front of me. The first two of which, had had the foresight to bring their own foldable chairs and magazines. The gentleman directly in front of us had brought a white hand towel. Since I had planned my DMV ensemble quite carefully, I wondered if I had missed something? 'What's with the towel?', we mockingly whispered. 'Do they make you do the dishes if you fail?' 20 minutes later, as sweat was rolling down the backs of my legs, I regretted wearing black during a heatwave. It was then I noticed the gentleman in front of me looking quite refeshed with his hand towel covering his head.

The doors finally opened. 15 minutes, and another queue later, I'm holding number 5003, staring at a monitor. The monitor read 5000. 'It won't be long now' I say. '5001…, 5002…, 5006…, Hey, what happened to 5003? Maybe it's not sequential?' I wait and see. '5007!, What the f*ck!'

I raced up to the counter to whine at ask the DMV officer what was going on! After a slight scolding [for not realizing I should've been watching several monitors], verifying my identity, and proving my Rhode Island residency (conveniently obtained the day before), I was directed to Testing Room 2. My spirits were buoyed by the fact the room number was also indicated in braille. Hey, If they let blind people take the test, this is going to be a breeze!

Once Inside the room, I was greeted by another DMV officer who bore a remarkable resemblance to Tommy Lee Jones. After checking my paperwork yet again, I was directed to testing station 16. I immediately noted how cosy each station was. Not only spacious, each station had generous partitions at each side. These either discouraged cheating off your neighbor or provided cover in the event you wanted to take a nap.

Exams always make me anxious. In addition to worrying about trick questions, I was also concerned about drawing attention to myself. All such thoughts disappeared when a man entered the room. If his tattooed shaven head wasn't enough to get him noticed, his loud shorts and ankle monitor certainly would've done the trick. Instead of sneaking a last minute peak at the drivers manual, I found myself imagining what he'd done to warrant the tether, and If I reminded him of his ex girlfriend. My daydreams were interrupted by the start of the test. As I hit the 'finished' key, I was so relieved when the word PASSED flashed on the screen, I skipped towards the counter and greeted Mr. Jones. He confirmed that I had passed and asked when I would like to schedule my Behind The Wheel test?

Tess: 'Well, this week if possible'

Mr. Jones: 'Well that's not possible'

Tess: 'Why not?'

Mr. Jones: 'Because you have to make an appointment. The first available appointment is Sept 27th. You want 1:30pm or 4:30pm?'

Tess: 'I realise you have to make an appointment. But when I called ahead to explain my situation, I was advised you might be able to fit me in. I'm flying back overseas this weekend and I'd like to get this sorted before I left'

Mr. Jones: 'You don't live in Rhode Island? Why are you applying for a Rhode Island license then?'

Tess: 'No, no.. I do, or that is to say, I will be. I'm relocating back to Rhode Island. But I have to pack up my house. I had hoped to get everything in place so it would be easier once I'm back. You know how it is…' *prays* Please God. I'm lying for a worthy cause. Make him say yes!

Mr Jones: 'Oh yeah, I understand. But even if I could fit you in, Rhode Island law stipulates that you must have your permit for 30 days before you can take the 'Behind the Wheel Test'

Tess: 'WHAT! You're kidding me! NobodySaidAnythingAboutThisWhenICalled! ItDoesn'tSayAnythingAboutThisOnYourWebsite! OrTheManual! I'm not even a minor! I've had a drivers license before!'

Mr. Jones: 'We'll, not in Rhode Island you haven't. You want 1:30pm or 4:30pm'

Tess: '1:30pm is fine, thank you'

So there you have it. I still don't have a valid drives license but I….

-Did finally get to: see, hug, talk, & laugh with friends who are very dear to me (you know who you are).

-Stocked up on undergarments & bathing suits.

-Did Satisfy my Dunkin' Donuts Coffee & Junior Mints craving.

-Almost got a tattoo.

-Took some fun photo's

-Was invited into my old house by a complete stranger.

-Was Bitten by a swan.

-Got chatted up by an extremely hot guy [of questionable sexual orientation], but it still felt nice.

-Saw Pogo Dave

-Spent an entire evening wishing I had BIG hair.

-Had a car salesman give me a something related to a vehicle I could never afford, based solely on our mutual admiration of Top Gear.

-Realised that people in the US are friendlier than those from other countries.

-Discovered I cannot be around Dink and not smoke.

-Confirmed that I have an intense dislike for International economy air travel.

-Wished there was a special place in hell for people who infringe upon your limited space during International economy air travel.

-Can find several ways to entertain myself when bored in a gun shop.

-Rekindled my love for antique shops and bakelite.

-Now know I have a special way with flying squirrels.

-Will forever love Dink because she understands me and my need to take photo's in Swan Point Cemetery.

Sure, I could've probably purchased an entire new identity for the cost of the flights back and forth between Singapore and the States, but I wouldn't have had as much fun.

See you soon and I'm bringing a hand towel.

Love,

Tess

Driving Miss Tess

My drivers license expired in 2004.

In 2004, I was living in Japan. Have you ever tried calling the DMV? Once you stop itching, Imagine doing that from a different time zone thousands of miles away. Yeah… I'd rather drive to Vegas on a holiday weekend with someone who suffers from bladder inconsistence.

In 2004, online renewal wasn't an option. I figured I'd just renew it the next time I was in the States. But the last time I was in the US was 2006, and I didn't go to California. Since 2004, the DMV has modernized. Online renewal is now available, but not for me. My license has been expired for more than one year AND my mailing address has changed. Just shoot me now. I tried calling my embassy but they couldn't help me either. Apparently, they're only good for federal issues, international incidents, and passport renewal... whatever.

You're probably wondering how I've been getting around since then? By Cab.

As some of you know I live in Singapore, where owning a car is incredibly expensive, so I don't own one. Believe it or not, taking a cab is cheaper, so for the past 7 years, I've been coddled like Miss Daisy. I've become so used to the convenience of door-to-door service, I'm not even sure I remember how to drive… let alone park. Not having a valid drivers license hasn’t been an issue traveling outside of Singapore either, because I’ve always traveled with someone who did or because local transportation in those locations was cheap and plentiful - tuk tuk anyone?.

One morning I woke up and thought; how could I have let this happen? What happened to my independence? What if I want to go somewhere alone? What if there's an emergency? What if I need to pick up Robert Pattinson from the airport?

Dramatic exits are greatly impacted as well. Have you ever tried storming out of the house in huff and then sheepishly ask for lift? “I’m leaving!” I’d announce, “But don’t look out the window for the next 3o minutes because I’m going on foot”

Do you see why I need to get this sorted?

I’m flying out tomorrow evening. I’ll make a quick stop in New York, and continue up to Rhode Island. Why Rhode Island you say? This is where my BFF lives. She won’t mind chauffeuring me around, that... and I meet the states minimum vision requirements.

Wish me luck, and if you’re anywhere on I-95, *wave*

With Love and 3 point turns,

Tess

Something Beautiful: Cristina Zenato is Hypnotizing

I might or might not have been responsible for the last 8,000 views of this video.

Truly Mesmerizing.

Enjoy.

Love,

Tess

Cristina Zenato shows us how to hypnotize a shark

Half Baked

If I had to compare myself to a baked good, I guess you could say I’m like a baguette. I’m not only referring to the visual aspects (though I do have a few pointy bits here and there) I’m talking about the baguette as a whole.

Let’s break bread it down, shall we?

A baguette is bread, but it’s not a loaf. It’s not typically what you’d reach for when making a sandwich, and it’s not a cracker. But, you could use it as either if push came to shove.

The down side of a baguette is that left alone for long periods of time they become hard and impenetrable. On the up side, a stale baguette makes a great weapon.

At first glance, a fresh baguette has a firm outer crust, with a little give. Slice it open and you’ll find a softer texture that’s often riddled with air holes caused by the interaction of the ingredients. In my opinion, the air holes are the best part of a baguette. I love that what is seen, as a mistake in other breads, in a baguette, it's an indication that you prepared the recipe correctly.

I prefer to view my own idiosyncrasies as ‘charming texture’ gained through life experience, than an excess of yeast. Wouldn’t you?

Allow me to share…

The Baguette List

1. If the skin on my hands is dry, I can’t breathe.

2. When in a booth, I can’t sit with my left arm exposed to the aisle. Oddly enough, this isn’t an issue when I sit in a chair.

3. I also need to sit facing the entrance or center of a room. Sorry gentlemen, I got there first!

4. Whenever I’m making myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I involuntarily take a bite the moment the two slices of bread are joined together. Before I realised what was happening, I thought there was a poltergeist in my house. I had just finished making the sandwich, looked down; and noted a bite taken out of it! I experienced 15 seconds of pure terror until I tasted the peanut butter on the roof of my mouth.

5. Even if I love you, the sound of your coughing annoys the motherfuckinghell out of me.

6. My left eye is amblyopic and doesn’t receive signals from my brain when my right eye is open. As a result: 3D movies are a waste, you can sneak up on me from the left, and it’s illegal for me to drive in a few States.

7. I straighten the shelves in books shops. Yep, if anything is out of place, I’ll spend however long it takes sorting that shit out.

8. I straighten things out in every shop. I can’t help myself. Invite me over.

9. Birds as pets? Hate it.

I would usually end a list on an even number, but I just noted the time on my laptop, and it adds up to an auspicious number, so I’ll stop here.

To be continued…

With Love and Neurosis,

Tess

The Silver Lining

Just because I feel it's important to keep things in perspective... I'm Alive (and well).

Kenny Chesney w/Dave Matthews "I'm Alive"

PS: I know throwing up a video doesn't really count as a blog post... but bear with me.

PPS: Dave Matthews is a treat for the ears... and Kenny Chesney wears the hell out of his hat.

That's all for now.

With Love,

Tess

89... It's just a number - or is it?

There's nothing significant about this post aside from the fact that it will be will be my 89th since the the inception of this blog.

I have a thing for numbers (I won't bore you with the details), but suffice to say I've been reluctant to move past my 88th post.

The number 8 has always represented good things to me, so when I noted the number of my last post, I could't help but take it as a sign or omen of better things to come. I mean... come on! if I one 8 is good, two 8's has to be some sort of wonderful, right?

hmmm.. no significant change noted.

You can't always get what you want.... and sometimes.... that really fucking sucks.

That's it for now.

With Love,

Tess

Rolling Stones - "You can't always get what you want"

I Am A Duck

“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.” - Michael Caine

The above quote sums up my life at the moment.

I've used this blog as a small extension of Me. I've used it as place to ramble, escape, share, vent, love, laugh, and remember. I've also used it as a place to explore all the facets within myself, in a way that I hope has been entertaining.

My life, of late, has not been entertaining. Frankly, it's been the exact opposite of entertaining.

I apologize for long gaps between posts.

It's just a lull.

I'll be back soon.

I… Am a Quack Duck after all... And we are born knowing how to paddle.

That's it for now.

With ♥ and trying to look super hot in floaties ;)

Tess

PS: I've tried to MUTE the sound. If it's not mute for you, pls. click on the volume.

Water For Elephants: If a Squuueeeee is made in S'pore, is it heard in New York?

Dear Rob,

Your new film, Water For Elephants, was premiered in New York City this evening.

I don't know where to start with this, so please let me start by saying Congratulations on what looks to be a wonderful film!

I followed the filming, relished the thought of you experiencing it and sighed over the palpable bond between you and your elephant co-star, Tai. I clapped with glee after watching the official trailer and I've giggled along with billions of others watching you promote it.

Now I eagerly await to sit in a darkened theatre and see the magic of this story come to life on screen. Movies like these don't come along very often... and I'm so very thrilled for you to be a part of it.

Magical.. I can smell this.

Congratulations again... to YOU and the entire cast and crew.

Love,

Tess

Mesmerizing....

Japan: A Personal Pictorial

I lived in Japan for a while.

Ever since news of the March 11th earthquake reached my ears and eyes I can't stop thinking about it....

or reading about it...

or talking about it...

or feeling it...

I'm driving everyone around me mad.

I feel foolish writing about my feelings, because they're insignificant compared with those who are actually living it.

Instead, I'd like to share some photo's I took during my time there. I'm fully aware these will probably bore you to death, so I apologise in advance for the quantity (all 63 of them).

Within the sprawling metropolis of Tokyo, are many smaller neighborhoods. I lived in Ookayama (OhOhhhhhhKayama)

This is my old shopping street

My neighborhood flower shop (ikebana anyone?)

The fish monger on my old street. I "startled" the first time I ever heard him bellow, “Irasshaimase!” (いらっしゃいませ, meaning “Welcome to the store!” or “Come on in!”)

After seeing my reaction, it became a game between him and me :)

1. Could he catch me off guard again?

2. Could I sneak by without him noticing?

A typical scene inside a Tokyo train during off peak time (I don't have rush hour pics because I was too busy trying to stay alive). The OCD in me misses the controlled atmosphere.

Things that are discouraged:

Mobile phone usage

Loud conversation

Eating & drinking (except for children)

Running around

Littering

Wearing your backpack while standing (space issue)

Sitting in the courtesy seats (unless your male & sleeping *snark*)

Doing anything to draw attention to yourself in general

So, you can imagine why the other passengers didn't know what to make of this!

Everyone just ignored us.

One morning we woke up to snow, and it was as if the entire population of Tokyo had taken ecstasy. I've never seen so many euphoric people running around with macro lenses!

I love looking at photo's of other people in front of various places, but I always feel like a complete ass doing it myself. I'm only including this one to prove a point and because it depicts China town... in Japan.

~ ❧ ~

Random sights that made me smile.

*snort*

Sakura Matsuri (cherry blossom fesitval) is embraced by all the Japanese with unabashed joy. During this time, the approximate day the blossoms will bloom in various locations is well publicised. Employees take off work for this! A few people are designated to scout a good location (which is then 'saved' by placing several plastic covers over the spot). The rest will bring the food and beverage, and a leisurely day will be spent in the company of good friends under the lightly falling petals. It's a surreal experience.

Speaking of surreal... An all Japanese traditional Swiss Alpine band.

Even the drain covers are Kawaii! (cute)

Fuji-san! Seeing Mt. Fuji with your own eyes is awe inspiring.

That was odd.

I can't take authority that looks like this seriously!

It's hot during the summer. My boy in a cooling Jimbei.

You will see signage like this throughout Japan. Kawaii desu ne?

The Japanese are not a particularly religious society, yet this is a common sight.

Contrary to how I envisioned Japan before I arrived, there are very few homes left like these in Tokyo.

~ ❧ ~

Typically downtown Tokyo

Tokyo is a city as far as the eye can see. You can drive for hours and still be in 'it'.

But, if you're persistent you will be rewarded with sights such a these.

Tokyo Tower

Every once and a while, I would ask someone to take my picture just to prove I was there.

'Talking condoms' and 'LOVE promoting beer' make me smile.

The Rainbow bridge

Ginza at night

Japanese "Hot or Not"

~ ❧ ~

The next few photo's are from the shrines and temples of Nikkō. This is a must see if you ever find yourself in Japan.

I was really looking forward to taking a photo of The "Sleeping Cat". Too bad I screwed it up and only had a 8x zoom!

Detail of an elephant on Toshogu Shrine. According to history, the craftsman had never seen one, which actually explains everything.

Details. I love the details...

S'il vous plaît pardonnez-moi, mais je ne parle pas japonais ou en anglais

The three wise monkeys over the sacred stable.

The sacred white horse

I was lucky enough to visit Nikkō during Autumn. The colours are insane!

The details can overwhelm you

I love the smell of incense

Maybe I can come back as a monk. It's looks so peaceful.

The 'pose' never fails to make me smile.

The five-storied pagoda.

~ ❧ ~

Miscellaneous shrine shots.

These are images of Jizo Bosatu. This deity is very significant to pregnant women and to those who's children have died.

Jizo Bosatu (another representation)

People will often adorn idols, like the one's pictured above, to either ask or to thank them for answering a request.

~ ❧ ~

Another site not to be missed is Meiji-jinju Shinto Shrine.

The structure is amazing!

The Torii is HUGE!

Sacred Sake (yes, there is such a thing!) is a common sight at shrines.

You might wanna memorize these Kanji before you go. You never know when you'll find yourself without the assistance of Romanji!

If you'd like to see a traditional Japanese wedding, go to Meiji-jinju Shrine on a weekend.

She is so beautiful.

The father of the bride actually pulled me out of a watching crowd so I could take better photo's! He was so proud and I was so thankful.

I find the mens Kimono just as beautiful as the women's!

I like the combination of traditional dress and modern technology.

In Japan, the back of the neck on a women is considered very alluring.

Sometimes I feel like getting married again so I can wear something like this!

~ ❧ ~

Not far from Meiji-jinju Shrine, and Omotesando Dori, is Harajuku Stn. Where you will see:

I miss the Tokyo train system.

I wanted to buy one of these outfits as a souvenir before I left, but almost choked when I saw the price!!! Good God!

I was digging the mask.

All men are the same!

This group was not shy!

The girl on the left has mastered looking demure.

Hanging out in front of GAP at the end of Omotesando Dori.

Thank you for bearing with me.

With Love,

Tess