Rob. Have I got a two-ply offer for you!

Dear R♥b,

Valentine's Day is almost upon us and I have been in an absolute panic trying to find a way to show you my love without getting arrested. Then the sky opened up, and this picture surfaced yesterday.

You might call this an accident of fate, but I call it divine intervention.

Voila! The perfect Valentine's gift!

Since it's obvious that no one is doing this for you, let's face it, you need me to stock your trailer. As your Valentine, I will ensure that your bathroom is always well supplied with an array of toilet tissue for every occasion:

Monogrammed, so you know you're in the right loo.

For those more musical moments.

For those particularly lengthy visits.

And to assure you that my intentions are honorable, here's a roll to prove it:

Yep, they don't call me ToiletPaperManLiquidGirl for nothing. I guess you could say.....

Happy Valentine's Day

With ultra-softness and 20% more Love,

Tess

Ode à une sauterelle

r-p-o-p-h-e-s-s-a-g-r

by e.e. cummings

r-p-o-p-h-e-s-s-a-g-r

who

a)s w(e loo)k

upnowgath

PPEGORHRASS

eringint(o-

aThe):l

eA

!p:

S a

(r

rIvInG .gRrEaPsPhOs)

to

rea(be)rran(com)gi(e)ngly

,grasshopper;

T(hwI :El(vo),

tess