Thursday, January 22, 2009

Talent begins with 'T' and so does Tess. Coincidence? I think not!

In a recent interview, Rob mentioned a few things he found attractive in a girl, and I quote:

Rob:  "I like talented girls.  If she's really talented, I don't care about the other things."

This got me thinking, well frowning really, about whether or not I had a talent worthy of Rob? What was he thinking of when he said talent?  Is he looking for a specific skill or are we talking party tricks? 

Just to be on the safe side, I've compiled a list of what I think MY talents are.

Here we go:
* This list is by no means in order of importance.

1. I can read a map!
2. I know how to work a microwave in Japanese & Chinese (Hot pockets doable anywhere)
3. Same goes for washing machines (add German & French washing machines to this as well)
4. I make really good salsa, French toast, taco's, & I can microwave anything else (see #2)
5. I know how to use those store bought boxes of hair dye (never a dull moment)
6. If you get your string lost inside your hoodie, I can get it out!
7. I can say "you make my nose swell" in Swedish (long story)
8. I can say "I love you" and cuss in several languages (can combine the two)
9.  I'm really good at carrying multiple things at once; grocery bags, shoes, luggage (i.e., useful)
10. I know how to paint.... a room
11. I can repeat almost every line in the movie The Breakfast Club (don't ask)
12. I know the lyrics to almost every Irish folk song known to man (again, don't ask)
13. I know what a quahog is!
14. I can pump my own gas (will do the same for you)
15. I do my own hair very nice...
16. I can tie a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue (don't get excited, just a party trick)
17. I can entertain myself for hours, so no need for you to entertain me.
18. I tell good bedtime stories (yeah, I could put you to sleep)
19. I can smoke with either my left or right hand (I know... I'm reaching here)
20. I can always find a parking space or hail a cab.
21. I remember names and faces (useful for all those proposals you keep making)
22. I have a freakish recall for phone numbers (hot damn! I can almost hear you knocking)
23. I can amuse you with all my useless trivia about superstitions
24. I met Tony Orlando once!
25. Did I mention that I do my hair really nice?
26. I can skate backwards (looks SO hot!)
27. I can french inhale (smexy)
28. I snort when I laugh.. which in turn will make you laugh, so I'm entertaining!
29. I can kill any plant (Trust me, this takes talent)
30. Animals and small children like me, just not at the same time.

I feel the need to stop because it's just getting gratuitous now, and I sound like I'm boasting, but if you don't see anything above that interests you, I have multiple personalities and they're all very talented.

Disclaimer* I should let you know that I no longer smoke because it makes the inside of my mouth peel.  Please add this to the list, if you consider it a talent.

Call me!  
Tess




10 comments:

Rose said...

LOLOLOL Tess!!!

I have a feeling that Rob would find you VERY interesting.
Not only are you beautiful, you are witty and funny as hell.

Great post!!!

Lynn said...

Tess-

You have put sunshine in to my day with your blog! LOL And, Rob would mos def find you very talented (like what the hell does that mean?).

Now, you are jogging my mind for my list of talents! And, I can French inhale....shizz , that makes my nose burn thinking about it!

Tess said...

Rose and Lynn!

I ♥ YOU both.. Thank you for the kind words.

Rob is spoilt for choice with any of us (he just doesn't know it..)

Aussierobfan said...

Tess I don't think there is any way Rob could resist you. That is an impressive list of 'talents'. Did you mention funny? Because that's a talent you definitely have.

Kaye xo

Trixie said...

Tess! This was absolutely hilarious... And, just to let you know that I, too, am a Breakfast Club fanatic:

You mess with the bull; you get the horns

Kat said...

OMG, I think I just pee'd in my pants a little laughing at your impressive list of talents. I want you, so if Rob says no... I'll be your back up.

Love it ♥
Kat

Tess said...

Oh Kat... you had me at "I've just pee'd my pants"

YOU are my life now..

Anonymous said...

Beautiful, funny and talented to boot. Who could possibly resist you?

The word 'balimpic' just came up in the word verification box - do you know what that means?

Tess said...

AJ~

Hmm..

isn't that the new slogan for the 2050 Summer Olympics in Bali?



OK, so lame, but that's all I had at the moment..

Tess said...

As much as it chafes... I guess I'm resistible.

Give in already!