It only hurts the 1st time ~or~ Never see Twilight with a woman who carries a big stick.

It sounded like a good idea at the time.  

A good friend of mine was leaving Singapore to move back to Canada. So, she invited a few friends over to her house to watch a chick flick, (either Enchanted or Grease) and to finish up all the open bottles of alcohol before the shipping company started packing. I was more than happy to do my bit to help out.  

Oh.. and I should mention that we were all required to wear our pajama's and that I was the only Non-Hockey Mom present.

So there I was, sitting in my magenta coloured velour lounging outfit (it looks better than it sounds), swilling down my third Bloody Mary (these being preceded by at least two glasses of wine) singing along at the top of my lungs to 'Grease Lightening' when somehow I found myself discussing Twilight with 'Sandy' (names have been changed to protect the innocent). Sandy is a stick-thin mother of two, who's children attend the same school as my son. She also happens to be the goalie on a women's ice hockey team here, called chicks-with-sticks (catchy right?) AND a coed team (yikes). In other words, don't fuck with Sandy. 

Turns out Sandy is a huge fan of the Twilight Saga! To quote the Great One, 'Who knew?" Sandy had been introduced to the books by other friend, 'Rizo' (sensing a theme?). So in my drunken stupor, I go on to say how much I'm looking forward to seeing Twilight, blah blah blah.. Sandy tells me she'd really like to see it as well, and in the end, we agreed to go together.  She mentioned she was going to get in touch with Rizo to see if she had any interest in joining us. Agreed? Agreed! 

Fast forward a week. I purchased tickets for Sandy, Rizo, and myself to see a Sunday evening showing. Oh what to wear??  (Just kidding. It didn't really enter my mind, that much) An hour before the show, I receive an sms from Sandy asking me to purchase another ticket because another friend of ours, 'Frenchie', wanted to come along too (I'm feeling the love).

I need to point out, that of all the women, I've known Frenchie the longest. Sandy was an acquaintance at best and I had never met Rizo.  

To say I was looking forward to seeing Twilight is an understatement!  I didn't have words to define the emotions I was feeling; the butterflies, the palpitations! I had even downloaded the Twilight soundtrack to my ipod for mood music on the ride over. I'm too embarrassed to admit how many times I listened to 'Never Think', by Robert Pattinson.  

I was the first to arrive (anxious?) After wandering around the lobby for a bit, I spied the 2 meter tall movie cutout for Twilight. I cued Never Think on my pod again, and just stared at the poster.. letting Rob's eyes speak to me.  A few moments later I was snapped out of my revery by a 'tap' on my shoulder (yeah.. I think I might've even been swaying)  it was Sandy and Frenchie.  I pull the plugs out of my reddened ears and gave them each a hug and asked where Rizo was?  They pointed to a blond women I had spied earlier (Oh God.. was she watching me gazing at the poster with such longing?) and say "hello" Then I look at Frenchie and say, "I didn't know you were a Twilight fan?" she says, "I'm not, I'm just tagging along for a night out"  I look at Sandy and Rizo, "So. Are you looking forward to seeing Rob in all his glory?" -Blank looks from everyone- "Who?" (now I'm worried)  I answer, "You mean, you haven't watched the trailers? You aren't familiar with anyone in the film?" they say, "Nope. We've only read the books, and wanted to see the movie"  

I mentally threw my head back and howled..

We find our seats:  Rizo, Sandy, Me, and Frenchie. Then, they all start talking about hockey.  WTF!  I pull out my ipod (this memory is painful) and say, "Have you listened to the soundtrack yet?" -again, blank stares- They say, "uh. no" I say, "I have it here if anyone would care to listen. The actor playing the lead, Robert Pattinson, actually contributed a few tracks. He's quite talented" (imagine the eager bunny look on my face)  Sandy takes pity on me and grabs an earphone to listen.. after a few seconds she hands it back to me and says.."I can't really hear it that well" I say, "Oh, I'll turn it up" she says, "uh.. no, that's OK, maybe later"  I'm feeling rather pathetic now.  

The movie starts... and I'm mesmerized.. I'm absolutely beside myself.  My eyes are huge, my heart is racing, my skin is itching, I making these little sighing sounds, and I actually forget to breath during a few parts. I sneak a look at Frenchie and she seems to be enjoying herself.  When Rob walks into the cafeteria for the first time, I look at Sandy for an acknowledgment of his hotness, but she's not playing. After the kissing scene, I unconsciously reached out and touched Sandy's arm and said "Oh wow"  She looked at me for a moment then down at my hand still resting on her arm as if to say "Why are you touching me?" I quickly snatched my hand back and said to myself, "Oh God, now she thinks I'm a freak".  

For 2 hours, that theatre chair was my own private sanctuary.  I felt like I was in this alternate universe where I could inject myself inside the amazing story of Twilight.  The movie met, and, dare I say, surpassed my expectations.  As the movie ended, I couldn't move.  The credits were rolling and then I realized my companions weren't moving either.  The lights came on and all of us were still staring at the screen like we were waiting for someone to jump out and say "but wait, there's more!"  Eventually, we all filed out of the theatre in silence.  Wearing shellshocked looks on our faces. I want to obsess people!  Somebody speak!

I cave. "Well?  What did you guys think?". The dam breaks.  Sandy really liked it. She wasn't expecting it to be good, and was pleasantly surprised.  Rizo (pleasantly) agrees.  Frenchie, "Thought that guy was HOT. He alone, was worth seeing it!" (have I mentioned how much I love Frenchie?)

God, how I missed my Robkats at that moment. I wanted an in-depth analysis of every scene, gaze, the kiss, what was left out, what was added. I needed to talk about it.

Right before we parted company, I mentioned that I was a bit annoyed that they strayed from the book by adding the bad vamps killing people in Forks.  Rizo looks at me and says rather forcefully, "That was in the book" I reply "No it wasn't"  She says, "Yes, it was" and goes on to press her point. I just changed the subject because I wanted to be polite, but I knew I was right (dammit).  I finished the night by adding "I wouldn't mind seeing it again. Anyone interested?"  Rizo laughs (or was it a sneer) and says "Oh, come on! (more laughter) I have to get going, goodnight. Sandy? can I give you a lift home?"  Frenchie takes her leave.  Sandy starts to follow Rizo, but then she turns around, looks at me, smiles, puts her thumb and little finger up to her face in that universal sign for Call Me, winks and walks off. 

A moment later I was in a cab on way my home, with the sounds of a gently strumming guitar filling my ears..