noun
the tendency to seek distraction and relief from unpleasant realities, esp. by seeking entertainment or engaging in fantasy.
Ahhh yes. This is what I've been engaging in over the past few months.
It started this summer.
The sub-prime mortgage debacle had been unfolding for the better part of a year, financial institutions were failing, food prices are soaring, the markets are falling, unemployment is rising, The Election, WAR (and not just ours), political unrest in several countries, random violence, tragic death.
EXHALE!
I had taken to reading the news with my head in my hands. My husband and I discussed it until we were blue in the face, in fact it was all any of our friends discussed when we met for dinner, drinks, at birthday parties.. I was ready to explode.
I needed a distraction. I needed a good book; something 'light and fluffy'. Maybe some chic lit! or even better, a romance! I needed something really juicy, something I could really escape in to because reality really sucked.
So off I went to the bookstore, where I spotted the Twilight book display (they're all so pretty together). I had remembered watching the movie trailer recently, so I shrugged, said 'what the hell' and picked up the book, Twilight.
I began reading Twilight with very little expectations, I certainly wasn't expecting it to grab me (struggling through the first half) and hold on for dear life, but it did! After two days (don't look shocked, it was written for young adults), I ran out and bought New Moon (thank GOD is was longer). The tentacles dug in even deeper as my pulse raced when Edward left Bella, and I had to fight myself to keep from flipping to end. By the time I started reading Eclipse, I had stopped noticing my husband, wanted to throttle Bella, and imagined myself convincing Edward he was better off with me! Breaking Dawn gave me sweet closure, but left me mourning the end of a great story and with a raging crush Robert Pattinson (since he was the unfortunate man I was picturing as Edward as I read the entire saga).
Now WTF do I do? I Googled him. In the process, I found out that in addition to being easy on the eyes, he's damned talented and seems to be just as lovely on the inside as he is on the outside. I also came across some great blogs, met some wonderful, insightful, fun, & talented ladies. Half the time, I find myself hitting the blog just to chat with them.
At the height of my infatuation, I was visiting various blogs and message boards for any news or photo's of Mr. Pattinson, after all, his beauty is cathartic for all the ugliness in the world, but lately I find that my infatuation is mellowing (dare I say maturing?) into something completely different. Instead of dreamily gazing at him, I find myself wanting to protect and shelter him. Oh, don't get me wrong, he's still the best damn looking man I've seen in a really long time. And don't think for a moment that if my sweet man was suddenly abducted by aliens, that I wouldn't be on the first plane to wherever Rob was trying my damnedest to make him love me... I'm just saying that something's changed for me.
Whew! It was just a bit of escapism. *whipsering* because lately, I was thinking there was something wrong with me and perhaps there wasn't really much difference between me and those screaming fan(atic) girls....
14 comments:
Tess it's like your telling my own story with better wording -lol-
I too found Rob through his casting as Edward (which whom I have made no secrets about having real feeling for) And I too have grown in my attraction to infatuation to a well earned respect and awe with a large does of protectiveness...
I think that is why we all get along so well, because although we all are Hot Sexy In Lust for Robert, We are mature enough to know what is happening here and we are aware of him as a person as well as an artist...
Nicely said Brooke... Just at times, I don't feel so mature ;)
Tess (Tasper)---This is a great blog. I went through a similar experience with my own escapism and a vampiric epiphany while reading Twilight.
My friend had mentioned the series back in the spring and said how it was so good and how it was being made in to a movie. At that point of the year, my life is always a hot mess of kids activities, PTA events and a constant flow of volunteer work---reading was a low proirity.
Then, my daughter asked for a copy for her birthday and I picked it up after she read it. I got sucked (pun intended) almost immediately. I got completely swept in to a dormant feeling that I had forgetten---the feeling of that first love. After that, I bought and borrowed New Moon and Eclipse (mind you, I was only averaging about one book a year) and I read those over a four day period. I bought Breaking Dawn, the day it came out.
I think that escapism was part of it, but, I was swept in my own thoughts of mortality and how to live my life better (cue the vampiric epiphany). I had walked around for years, poised in this shadow of sadness and pity and I finally had it.
I changed my eating completely (became a vegetarian) and lost 35 lbs. I also indulged on Mr. Pattinson after I decided not to look up anything until I finished the books and have found a fun little community of great ladies and I am satiated at last.
Yes, escapism worked for me!
Lynn- Read you're reply with a smile on my face. Lovely...
Escape is right. I actually call Twilight "My happy place" :-) This summer when everything was going so bad for me, those 4 books (and the host) saved me and I will love SM forever for that.
As for Rob, like i did with his leaked song or the way I just want to remove the pictures of "young Rob"and cover him up, my infatuation with him is far from screaming, stalking fan obsession.
Very well written Tess :-) Cheers!
Thank you Goz. Thanks to all of you!
comments are love people.. Your words are like voices in my head (the good kind, not the Joan of Arc kind) and I love hearing from you.
I know what it feels like to want to escape from the reality, so this September after some serious changes in my life, I turned to Twilight. I finished the four books in five days and found myself relieved of the tension I was living in.
I had always liked Rob, but since reading Twilight, he became something more. Now I feel just like you, wishing to protect him from rabid fan girls. Rob, the blog run by Dani and Gozde, and the IMDb board have become my happy place.
I like the way you write =)
Thank you Denisse (do I have it correct)
Robsessed is my Happy Place as well.
It's odd to feel such a connection to people I only know on-line... but everyone here has really become part of my day. They're the only ones who understand and share my infatuation.. I can be a bit of a dork and loosen up in here and we all need to do that now and then.
xox
T
you're a great writer!
so fun to read how other people got into twilight.
Thank you for your comments Kate and K!
hearing everyone else's storying makes me feel braver telling mine!
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