I'm not talking about the one your mother warned you about, I'm talking about your hairdresser, the woman who does your nails, that person you're sitting next to on a plane, train, or metro. The one who gives you a sympathetic look when your kid is having a melt-down at Target, or that person you spot reading your favorite book, or sharing the same obsession with online?
What is it about a stranger that invites you to share your secrets? Secrets you haven't shared with your husband?, your best friend, your priest, pastor, counselor. What makes us do it?
Why are they easier to share with, and your closest confidants are not?
If this resonates with you, tell me why you do it?
7 comments:
Tess--love the blog! I have thought about this many times and I really just think that most humans desire anonymity by talking with strangers (or not so strangers), because it allows you to bear yourself without judgement or anything else.
My husband calls me out on this all the time, saying "yes, my wife has the gift of gab", but, he knows that in many ways I am just helping myself to be sane and keep some identity.
I mean I know that I am a wife, a mother, a sister, a school employee, etc. But, I know deep down inside that sometimes I start to lose some of myself if I don't force it out.
Okay, I'm getting a little existential here, but, the power of an anonymous friendship is sometimes just plain fun!
Tess- M'Lady, quite the question of the day. It seems that strangely enough connecting with STRANGERS is unbelievably easy for me. I have not always been so outgoiong as a child I was intensly shy. But as I got older I have really gotten out there. All my meaningful relationships including my marriage have resulted from my being willing to talk to strangers. I asked every boyfriend I have ever had out first. Made the first move etc.
So why is it that I have formed such a quick friendship with my blog pals, and would I get along with them if say we talked on the phone or ever met in person. I would like to think yes. We have found a connection that is formed from something slighly embarassing, our overwhelming love for one gorgeous Brit actor. But more than that the honesty that has been shared, the comfortability has been lifted by our goofy inuendos and something deeper has been found.
I for one feel very good about it.
Tess: Great question. I too am amazed that somehow we are all making connections these days in ways that didn't happen in the past. Perhaps it's because the world became smaller with all the new technology out there. But at the same time, we're spending lots of time involved in that technology instead of actually reaching out to the new person on the job or down the street. We all run the risk of rejection face to face.
On the internet, if you don't like someone, you don't talk to them again and you don't feel bad because you don't have to see them.
On the positive side, look how some wild,bizarre, happenstance common thread has brought a bunch of us together. My hopes are is that someday we can meet in different places, have lunch, and call ourselves lucky to have met some really dynamic, smart, funny women who truly survive day to day with grace and humor.
Like Dani said, I'm happier for it!
I feel very fortunate to have made such friends. Each and every one of you are amazing.
Thank you for sharing.
You bet your sweet ars Tess...we are just as happy to know you.
Hey-It's true that we find an odd comfort in telling things to someone we don't really know, versus someone we see every day. We sometimes find more acceptance from these people then from our everyday friends. Interesting thought...
Gracie - thanks for the comment.
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