Water For Elephants... Elephants in Water

Heeelloooooo Robert!

It seems like forever since we've had one of my imagined conversations chatted! Did I mention how much I enjoyed the Vanity Fair article last year? or Remember Me? and DETAILS! Did I tell you how much I loved the interview in DETAILS?

I didn't?

In summary, let's just say, that if I allow myself to wonder about what it would be like to meet you, I don't wonder about you finding me attractive⎼I worry about you finding me boring⎼and, if I had to choose a favourite part, I'd say I really loved hearing about your day with the elephants.

(excerpts from DETAILS Mar'10)

JL: He tells me an elephant story. Not the one about Barcelona elephants—one about some he'd met recently in California.

RP: "Did you know elephants purr? It's completely scary if you don't know what it is. They purr like cats, but their heads are so deep they sound like velociraptors. You feel it in the ground under your feet. So this big female started sniffing my foot—big female elephant, that is. She sniffed it so hard it came up off the pavement like her trunk was a vacuum cleaner. Then she took my entire body in her mouth. I was holding on to her head, and as I slowly let go she tightened her grip really carefully until I'm just upside down in her mouth and she's going through my pockets with her trunk, looking for peppermints. It was the best day of my life."

JL: So you gave up control to an elephant, got groped, mugged, had your candy tugged at—and it was glorious?

RP: "Yeah. So beautiful you can't imagine. And the baby elephant was so excited that it sprinted out and did its routine in five seconds and then curtsied to everybody. It was actually laughing. Brilliant. Did you know they can also do imitations of other animals? A horse, a chicken, a monkey—these elephants could, anyway. They were movie elephants. One had written a screenplay, and one really wants to direct."

RP: "Do you know how they die? The elephant guy told me their molars get ground down from eating wood but regenerate like six times. And after that they slowly starve to death. Which is poignant, but that must also be what gives them time to get to the elephant graveyard. They're incredibly designed creatures. I mean, people hang on way too fucking long. If I knew that when my teeth fell out, that was it . . . Wow. The best day of my life. Beautiful, beautiful day."

❧ ❧ ❧

I love that you've had this experience. I've had my own close encounter of the elephant kind, so I can imagine what it must've been like for you.

One morning, I came upon a young calf with her mahout on a beach in Thailand. It was difficult to describe how I felt afterwards⎼sometimes feelings have no words attached to them... Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words.

In she goes!

In we both go...

How can something so heavy be so buoyant?

Is she frolicking? Why yes, she is!

Holy shizz! Should I move?

Proof that elephants smile

The victory trumpet!

The entire morning was a gift that I'll never forget.

The following photo's by Canadian artist, Gregory Colbert will leave you speechless ... Utterly.

Enjoy.

Gregory Colbert at work.

*From his website: "The photographic artworks of Gregory Colbert explore the poetic sensibilities of animals in their natural habitat as they interact with human beings. No longer shown as merely a member of the family of man, humans are seen as a member of the family of animals. None of the images have been digitally collaged."

For more information, go HERE. Please also check out his film, 'Ashes and Snow'.

With too much love to put it into words,

Tess

Can you hear it?

Can an image make a sound?

This one does.

I'm sure we've all seen this painting by Edvard Munch, entitled The Scream. It captures the essence of many emotions don't you think? This is how I'm feeling today... maybe we've all felt like this...

On that note, I'm off to express myself and sniff some paint.

That is all.

Love,

Tess

Happy 24th Birthday Mr. Pattinson!

Dear Robert,

It's almost your birthday!

Last year I compiled a list of things I wished for you ⎼ and although I'm really sorry that No. 6, [May you never lose your: passport, keys, phone, luggage, wallet, or car] didn't quite come true, I am very happy to note indications of No. 3, [May you always inspire loyalty] and No. 23, [May you love and be loved in return] in this recent article from TIME Magazine by director, Chris Weitz, in which he writes:

" I have to be careful about what I write here because it will be tweeted the moment TIME hits the stands. And if I say something bad about Rob Pattinson, I'm dead meat. That's the devotion the Twilight films inspire. It's certainly not how he planned it. And though I am continually impressed by the aplomb with which he handles the hysteria, I occasionally think he would take it all back if given the chance. Because essentially, Rob, 23, is a reserved, bookish sort of specimen, a guy who'd rather spend the night at the corner table in the pub with friends — a bit of a weirdo, frankly, in the best sense.

So how to write about someone who seems to answer Freud's rhetorical question, What do women want? Perhaps it's just worth pointing out that it'd be fun to have a beer with him even if he weren't Edward Cullen. That we haven't seen a tenth of what he can do onscreen. And that important things, beyond the veil of Hollywood, occupy his time too ⎼ music, conversation, ideas, a sense of the absurd. Which, maybe, explains why he never gets to my e-mails. I love you, Rob! Call me!"

Sentiments like Mr. Weitz's, and the one I once shared with a friend: "I appreciate the way his mind works. He makes me think, he's multifaceted, talented, layered, contradictory, a bit damaged, but at the same time whole, kind, and inherently good" ⎼ are reasons I'd consider myself honored to know you.

So Happy Birthday Robert. You are never far from my thoughts and I wish you nothing but joy... especially on the anniversary of your birth. I leave you this addition to last year's Birthday Wish List:

No. 24: Unlike Freud, May you never have to eat anchovies to dream.

I ♥ you too Rob!,

Tess

About Friendship, Relationships, Relating: Are you real? Who's to say.

Illustration by: Aubrey Beardsly

"And a youth said, Speak to us of Friendship. And he answered, saying: Your friend is your needs answered."

Remember when your circle of friends was limited to close physical proximity? I can⎼but this is evolving, and change is a good thing right?... because only a fool remains the same (or something like that).

Let's take a moment and imagine life 100 years ago. Now do this again, except imagine 50 years ago, 25 years ago, etc... Take a look at the change in the way we communicate alone! Doesn't it stand to reason that the way we make friends would evolve as well?

"When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind, nor do you withhold the 'ay'."

What is the criteria or definition of a real friendship, and is it the same for everyone we meet?

Are you more/less of a friend because you live in my neighborhood, or I can drive to your house?

Are you more/less of friend because I met you: at work, at school, at a party, or through another friend?

Are you more/less of a friend because of the passage of time or circumstance?

Are you more/less of a friend because I met you online?

Are you more/less of a friend because I can see your face?

Not to me, but I've never been a big fan of restrictions, rules, guidelines, or parameters⎼and these should never be applied when dealing with emotions anyway. A friendship is a type of relationship you have with someone, and let's be honest... people are emotional. People are complicated, and ofttimes this translates to friendships that are not easily definable - but no less real.

Basically, If I've given you my time, it's because I care about you. When I reach out to you, this is my way of loving you⎼and no matter who you are, what you are, where you go, or how you came into my life⎼it's who you are inside that speaks to me... even if you're silent.

"And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart; for without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.

When you part from your friend, you grieve not; for that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain."

So yeah... I like to think of friendship as an evolution. I like the idea of evolving. It reminds me of love.

With Love,

Tess

Excerpts from 'The Prophet' by Kahlil Gibran

Tess?... Tess?... Tess?... Tess?...

Dear Rob,

Don't look at me that way! Of course I still Remember Me you.

Rest assured, I haven't forgotten⎼I just made a promise to myself at the beginning of 2010 that this was the year I was finally going to get off my ass and start doing the things I've always wanted to do, finish those unfinished projects, and most important, stop trying to fix what can't be fixed.

I know it's only March, but being the eternal optimist, I feel good about the progress I've made⎼but before too much time had passed, I wanted to let you know that you're still on my mind...yeah, don't think you're getting off that easy! Just because I'm not pestering you with daily posts⎼expressing my unwavering devotion⎼doesn't mean my love for you has waned. No siree Bob! (I can call you 'Bob' can't I?), and just in case you were hoping I'd given up wondering:

You're Still my Main Man

My Go-to-Guy

My Hearts Desire

My Love Muffin

My Shmoopy

My Little Ray of Sunshine

The Cream in my Coffee

The Marmalade on my Toast

&

My Future Husband

(of course I'm still delusional, some things never change)

What's next on my list?

1. Making you mine

2. Mastering punctuation

I won't hold my breath if you wont ;)

That's it for now.

Love,

Tess

Rob. Have I got a two-ply offer for you!

Dear R♥b,

Valentine's Day is almost upon us and I have been in an absolute panic trying to find a way to show you my love without getting arrested. Then the sky opened up, and this picture surfaced yesterday.

You might call this an accident of fate, but I call it divine intervention.

Voila! The perfect Valentine's gift!

Since it's obvious that no one is doing this for you, let's face it, you need me to stock your trailer. As your Valentine, I will ensure that your bathroom is always well supplied with an array of toilet tissue for every occasion:

Monogrammed, so you know you're in the right loo.

For those more musical moments.

For those particularly lengthy visits.

And to assure you that my intentions are honorable, here's a roll to prove it:

Yep, they don't call me ToiletPaperManLiquidGirl for nothing. I guess you could say.....

Happy Valentine's Day

With ultra-softness and 20% more Love,

Tess

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