About Friendship, Relationships, Relating: Are you real? Who's to say.

Illustration by: Aubrey Beardsly

"And a youth said, Speak to us of Friendship. And he answered, saying: Your friend is your needs answered."

Remember when your circle of friends was limited to close physical proximity? I can⎼but this is evolving, and change is a good thing right?... because only a fool remains the same (or something like that).

Let's take a moment and imagine life 100 years ago. Now do this again, except imagine 50 years ago, 25 years ago, etc... Take a look at the change in the way we communicate alone! Doesn't it stand to reason that the way we make friends would evolve as well?

"When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind, nor do you withhold the 'ay'."

What is the criteria or definition of a real friendship, and is it the same for everyone we meet?

Are you more/less of a friend because you live in my neighborhood, or I can drive to your house?

Are you more/less of friend because I met you: at work, at school, at a party, or through another friend?

Are you more/less of a friend because of the passage of time or circumstance?

Are you more/less of a friend because I met you online?

Are you more/less of a friend because I can see your face?

Not to me, but I've never been a big fan of restrictions, rules, guidelines, or parameters⎼and these should never be applied when dealing with emotions anyway. A friendship is a type of relationship you have with someone, and let's be honest... people are emotional. People are complicated, and ofttimes this translates to friendships that are not easily definable - but no less real.

Basically, If I've given you my time, it's because I care about you. When I reach out to you, this is my way of loving you⎼and no matter who you are, what you are, where you go, or how you came into my life⎼it's who you are inside that speaks to me... even if you're silent.

"And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart; for without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.

When you part from your friend, you grieve not; for that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain."

So yeah... I like to think of friendship as an evolution. I like the idea of evolving. It reminds me of love.

With Love,

Tess

Excerpts from 'The Prophet' by Kahlil Gibran