Exsqueeze Me?

Dear Rob,

I know what you are. I can't believe I didn't see it before! You're a Shirt-Squeezer, Coat-Crusher, Jacket-Jeopardiser (eh?). You cannot be trusted with outer garments! (inner garments? yeah. but that's another post)

What's going on here babe? Are you trying to shut it up, or make it talk?

And what's wrong with this one? Not warm enough? Too blue? Too nylonY?

Look at the way you're reaming this poor thing out. I can't watch.

This one really breaks my heart. Tossed aside while you're wearing it's replacement. That's cold man.

New jacket Rob? what happened to the other one? run away?.. or worse.

Now this picture makes sense.

Put the jacket down Pattinson, and get your hands up where I can see them.

It needs to stop. You can't keep doing this to things that keep you warm! I understand you've been under a lot of stress, so I've found something else you can take your frustrations out on; Meet Mr. Smiley ↴

He's soft, cheerful, squeezable, and will always retain his shape. What more could you ask for?

*Sigh* I know, I know ─ you'd rather squeeze me, but I wouldn't fit in your pocket.

That's it's for now.

♥ Love ♥

Tess