About Friendship, Relationships, Relating: Are you real? Who's to say.

Illustration by: Aubrey Beardsly

"And a youth said, Speak to us of Friendship. And he answered, saying: Your friend is your needs answered."

Remember when your circle of friends was limited to close physical proximity? I can⎼but this is evolving, and change is a good thing right?... because only a fool remains the same (or something like that).

Let's take a moment and imagine life 100 years ago. Now do this again, except imagine 50 years ago, 25 years ago, etc... Take a look at the change in the way we communicate alone! Doesn't it stand to reason that the way we make friends would evolve as well?

"When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind, nor do you withhold the 'ay'."

What is the criteria or definition of a real friendship, and is it the same for everyone we meet?

Are you more/less of a friend because you live in my neighborhood, or I can drive to your house?

Are you more/less of friend because I met you: at work, at school, at a party, or through another friend?

Are you more/less of a friend because of the passage of time or circumstance?

Are you more/less of a friend because I met you online?

Are you more/less of a friend because I can see your face?

Not to me, but I've never been a big fan of restrictions, rules, guidelines, or parameters⎼and these should never be applied when dealing with emotions anyway. A friendship is a type of relationship you have with someone, and let's be honest... people are emotional. People are complicated, and ofttimes this translates to friendships that are not easily definable - but no less real.

Basically, If I've given you my time, it's because I care about you. When I reach out to you, this is my way of loving you⎼and no matter who you are, what you are, where you go, or how you came into my life⎼it's who you are inside that speaks to me... even if you're silent.

"And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart; for without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.

When you part from your friend, you grieve not; for that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain."

So yeah... I like to think of friendship as an evolution. I like the idea of evolving. It reminds me of love.

With Love,

Tess

Excerpts from 'The Prophet' by Kahlil Gibran

Tess?... Tess?... Tess?... Tess?...

Dear Rob,

Don't look at me that way! Of course I still Remember Me you.

Rest assured, I haven't forgotten⎼I just made a promise to myself at the beginning of 2010 that this was the year I was finally going to get off my ass and start doing the things I've always wanted to do, finish those unfinished projects, and most important, stop trying to fix what can't be fixed.

I know it's only March, but being the eternal optimist, I feel good about the progress I've made⎼but before too much time had passed, I wanted to let you know that you're still on my mind...yeah, don't think you're getting off that easy! Just because I'm not pestering you with daily posts⎼expressing my unwavering devotion⎼doesn't mean my love for you has waned. No siree Bob! (I can call you 'Bob' can't I?), and just in case you were hoping I'd given up wondering:

You're Still my Main Man

My Go-to-Guy

My Hearts Desire

My Love Muffin

My Shmoopy

My Little Ray of Sunshine

The Cream in my Coffee

The Marmalade on my Toast

&

My Future Husband

(of course I'm still delusional, some things never change)

What's next on my list?

1. Making you mine

2. Mastering punctuation

I won't hold my breath if you wont ;)

That's it for now.

Love,

Tess

Rob. Have I got a two-ply offer for you!

Dear R♥b,

Valentine's Day is almost upon us and I have been in an absolute panic trying to find a way to show you my love without getting arrested. Then the sky opened up, and this picture surfaced yesterday.

You might call this an accident of fate, but I call it divine intervention.

Voila! The perfect Valentine's gift!

Since it's obvious that no one is doing this for you, let's face it, you need me to stock your trailer. As your Valentine, I will ensure that your bathroom is always well supplied with an array of toilet tissue for every occasion:

Monogrammed, so you know you're in the right loo.

For those more musical moments.

For those particularly lengthy visits.

And to assure you that my intentions are honorable, here's a roll to prove it:

Yep, they don't call me ToiletPaperManLiquidGirl for nothing. I guess you could say.....

Happy Valentine's Day

With ultra-softness and 20% more Love,

Tess

Ode à une sauterelle

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by e.e. cummings

r-p-o-p-h-e-s-s-a-g-r

who

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upnowgath

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eringint(o-

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S a

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to

rea(be)rran(com)gi(e)ngly

,grasshopper;

T(hwI :El(vo),

tess

Auld Lang Syne

Hello and Happy New Year.

It's been ages since my last post. I wish I could say It's because: I'm still on holiday, been love-napped by Robert Pattinson, or I'm doing something incredibly important—but I can't. I've just been busy contemplating my 2009—and given my erratic thought patterns... this took some time.

They say you learn something everyday, and while I won't subject you to 365 of my mental meanderings, here are a few *coughs* thoughts which stood out for me during the past year.

1. Liver—Yuk. How can something that smells so good taste so nasty?

2. Don't water yourself down for anyone. Be authentic.

3. There's a difference between going with the flow and being swept away.

4. I can't eat leeks—who knew.

5. Sometimes the truth is something that's not exactly a lie.

6. No matter what you Google, there's porn.

7. Why compare yourself to others? Everyone is needed.

8. Check logic at the door and trust your instincts.

9. I feel awkward typing acronyms like: LOL, LMAO, etc... so I avoid them when possible.

10. Thought without action is invalid.

11. The flushing sound of a toilet on an airplane scares the fuck out of me—every single time.

12. I will inevitably have to pee between 5-10 times during an international flight— causing fellow passengers to wonder and scaring myself senseless at the same time.

13. There is no such thing as a coincidence.

14. Certain words make me smile (but that's another post)

15. I don't cry prettily.

16. You can't walk a cat.

17. Humility cannot be claimed.

18. I love mandalas.

19. Life is short—eat dessert first.

20. Once and a while, people who come to mean a lot to you—come unexpectedly.

21. I consciously cuss on a daily basis.

22. Be PRESENT. If you spend too much time thinking about the past or wondering about the future you'll miss it.

23. Periodically ask yourself: 'Is this the way I want to spend the rest of my life?' If the answer is 'No'—do something about it.

24. I aplogise too much, and I'm really sorry about that.

25. Some people are just unreasonable.

26. Sometimes I'm unreasonable.

27. No. I don't want to have make up sex. I'm annoyed. Do you really want me that close to your penis?

28. Not everyone is going to like you.

29. No one can make you angry—it's something you choose to be.

30. Never try to out drink a Sikh.

31. I feel that true inner strength lies in how much you can withstand, not dish out.

32. I cannot be productive and think about Robert Pattinson at the same time.

33. It's wonderful if you make someone happy, but if you're not happy—what's the point?

34. I strive to be good, because I don't think they let you read in hell.

35. Your words and thoughts have power.

36. If you think about saying or doing anything 3X during a short period of time, you should probably say it or do it.

37. I'll admit it: Seeing comments on my blog makes me really happy.

38. I need to be fluent in a second language.

39. Say what you feel. Someone could be waiting to hear it.

40. Live honestly.

41. "Do you wanna touch my Tree of Life", and other such comments, is not going to get you laid—not by me anyway.

42. Don't let: shyness, indecision, and fear stop you from living the life you want.

43. You cannot receive what you're not prepared to give.

44. Cats don't meow at other cats—they only meow at people. Pay attention... it's true.

45. In my next life, I want to come back as a really hot Indian woman.

46. If there's somewhere you've always wanted to visit and no one will go with you... go anyway.

47. I'm happiest when I'm being creative.

48. Try this: Experience a food, a place, a thing, or someone you love with all 5 of your senses—just try it.

Alright... for those of you still with me, 48 seems like a good number to stop. 4+8= 12 and 12 is good number. I'd tell you why, but then you might not read my blog again.

PS: If you have any realisations from 2009 you'd like to share, I'd love to hear them!

That's it for now.

Love,

Tess

4 Hearts Beat as One...

Dear Rob,

I don't think we can ignore the writing on the wall. It's right there in front of our faces (literally),in black and white — we belong together.

It's the look of ♥...

Four ♥'s are better than one...

I wear my ♥ on my face...

I only have ♥'s for you...

Or as Sir John Vanbrugh once said: "Once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her " ~ So what d'ya say we merge and make various shades of gray?

Call me ;)

PS: If you hurry we can still send out Christmas cards.

With all my ♥,

Tess

Let Me Tell You a Bedtime Story

Dear Rob,

I have a question I've been burning to ask you; what is it with men and sex? You guys can sleep without it—right?

I have looked at this picture at least half a dozen times and trust me... I am not even slightly sleepy. If anything, it makes me feel down right perky. Perhaps you're reading the wrong types of books, and would be open to a few recommendations.

May I suggest the following by Lauren Child?

I figured we could read it together. You wear the bottoms; I'll wear the top; I'll make you pink milk, and then we'll have good cuddle.

That's it for now.

I'll leave the light on for y♥u,

Tess